The Never Acquired Art of Communication

For goodness sake my friends, how long is it going to take mankind and well womankind to learn to communicate with each other? Communication is not rocket science. It is stringing a bunch of words together to deliver a message. So why does it seem so complicated when we are forced to share our thoughts with each other.

In today's world the number of communicating tools is endless. We can email, text, phone video, blog, Facebook and the list goes on and on. Oh yeah, there is always the old fashioned talk to each other face-to-face method. Yet, we still get it wrong over and over...folks it is time to step up and express yourself!

If you want a general idea of how well you communicate you can take a short test at Queendom the land of tests on just about everything website. I found the results on my communication test remarkably accurate.

Do you think we have lost the skill of communication? Or have we simply filled our lives to overflow and adapted by finding the fastest way to get things done? Definitely worth thinking about...or maybe talking about?

Something to ponder...

It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see - David Henry Thoreau

An excellent opening to a discussion on time. When we are reflecting on a subject or simply “being in the moment” it might surprise you to know…there is no possible way to be in the moment.

While you are reflecting on something your brain is operating in the past. By the time you reflect on what you are thinking it is already a past event.  

Consider this, everything you see or think about will be a memory immediately.

Acknowledgment, Reflection & Truth

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines acknowledge as "to admit the truth or existence of something."

Rephrasing this we could say, "Acknowledgment is a reflection of available information and ultimately a conclusion determined from the acknowledgment."  Acknowledgment is critical to the task of processing information or situations.  

Every day we gather, analyze, use, and discard vast amounts of information.  As we process information we ultimately determine how it applies to us, and take action. For example, acknowledging you will not have time to go out for lunch so you pack a lunch.  Learning how we determine truth and apply action requires us to be observers of our behavior. 

Journaling is an excellent tool for self-observation.  Below is a 5-step practice you can use to develop your observation skills. 

1. Pick a day each week you will dedicate time to quickly jot down recent events. I put it on my calendar. I suggest you spend no longer than 15-20 minutes on this activity.  It isn't necessary to create a story but simply to record.  
2. Make notes on as many events as you can the actions you took, thoughts you had, or problems they caused.  
3. Pick a time each month to review your journal and to observe how you acknowledge experiences in your life.  Putting distance between events and reviews will help to reduce the emotions connected to them. 
4. Place a note at the bottom of your reviewed journal entries with your observations of behavior, and anything you think you could have done differently as well as what you see as successful. 
5. Every few months, review your monthly observations and note what has changed.

An entry might look similar to this:

Stranded on highway & had to call a tow truck. - $210 bill, the engine overheated, not sure how I will cover all my bills this month. Made a schedule to check fluids in my car weekly.

Regularly journaling and reviewing our entries will strengthen our ability to manage bigger events when they occur.  The growth we achieve as we acknowledge our behavior is shared in the richness of our interactions with others, and in how we react to events.  Self-improvement is not a task we can complete but one we must practice regularly.  

Simple entertainment

My simple pleasure is mega entertaining, thought provoking, and educational. So much pleasure and all for the grand price of Free! Yep, that's right folks you too can enjoy this party of fun without paying a single penny or reading an annoying instructional manual. So, ready for the big reveal? You will chuckle when I put it out there. You might even silently exclaim, "Really Cassy, everyone knows about that!" And you would be right. But so few grasp the real privilege - the unending availability of opportunities. So of what exciting past time do I speak? People Watching (and listening) of course. That's right gawking, analyzing, evaluating, constructing, destructing, fantasizing, criticizing, and in some cases romanticizing all from within our grey matter.

If you do not find people watching to be a natural kind of high perhaps you do need an instruction manual after all. And since I fancy myself a giving kind of girl, I will take you gently by the hand and lead you down the path of enlightenment. Here comes a quick overview that you can use to stimulate your own future entertainment and skills of deduction. In fact, with practice you could become a super sleuth and get a television show and a cool name like Mentalist or something.  This activity is the number one answer given by writers when ask how they build characters. Who knows I could be leading you to your destiny.

Okay, to start find a place with more than one person. You can certainly do it with only one but as a beginner it is best to have many potential observation targets to ensure you find someone you will enjoy watching. Now glance around the environment once or twice. If someone grabs your attention start with them. If not, arbitrarily pick a color and select the first person wearing the color. When viewing them build an imaginary fence around them blocking others so you can focus. Think of it like crime scene tape.

Next, take notice of a physical attribute (but not in a critical way). For example do they have hair if so, consider everything about the hair. The length, thickness, texture, (curly, straight, wavy) color (artificial, natural, gray), kept, unkept, style, decorations. From your observation of the hair alone you can probably figure out a number of things; approximate age, nationality, personal style (trendy, old fashion, casual, disinterest), possibly financial position, you may even get a feel for their general health if their hair is limp or very thin. A bald person is also fun to observe. Head shapes are interesting to consider and more so on bald people.

After you have observe everything of interest about the hair or head you can move from that area and tie other things in...ears, nose, lips, fingernails, feet if exposed. All these things begin to add to the character you are building. For instance if you judge the age to be older, do the hands show age to support your thinking? Use all of your observations to construct and deconstruct your character study. Now that I got you started - go wild.

I like to play this game a lot. Sometimes I do it to build what I consider my super hero girl power of reading people and other times I do it for simple pleasure. When I do it for pleasure, I make up stories about my characters based on my observations giving them extraordinary lives, scenarios, lovers, and exciting professions (like maybe an international spy). Trust me this entertainment will bring more satisfaction than gossiping or griping about your life. And did I mention it is totally Free!

Glass ceiling? No! Keep the Stiletto floor

A trendy gender descriptive in corporate America is 'the glass ceiling.' The concept specifically refers to the value of women in the business world. When women achieve success in their professional careers particularly in leadership positions one might hear "there she goes breaking the glass ceiling." Although, you may have to ease drop on conversations or loiter at the water cooler to hear it but you can definitely hear it. Or, you can choose to trust me on this if you have no handy water cooler to hang around.

Trendy is good. Everyone wants a part of trendy. So a good tagline or fun jingle can propel a concept into realty where everyone wants to be an occupant. Thus, the glass ceiling concept has rapidly highlighted women in leadership and increased organizations to desire more women in leadership. Desireability is marketable. The up side is there seems to be more women in leadership. Often as in executive leadership and occupying positions on corporate boards. The downside is sometimes in their quest to climb the corporate ladder women are losing their gender identification or leaving their unique perspective at the conference room door.

Although, mini-skirts do not belong in the boardroom, femininity does. In other words, the strength of an executive team lies in the ability to assess situations or consider new ideas from multiple perspectives. If we abandon who we are at the core then we decrease the views available to see the world and effect change. So ladies, keep your stilettos, bring your female perspectives, and lets leave the ceiling intact. Success comes to those who bring their best game not those trying to conform to an assumed picture of success. You don't have to blend to win. Game on!

To Delete or not to Delete...

The delete key is perhaps the most powerful tool we have at our disposal today. We use it everyday in a variety of ways to manage a variety of situations. When sending an email, writing a document, replying to a text, or programming our favorite TV shows to record, we can hit the delete key and remove or rethink the action.

And now, social media has added a whole new dimension to the power of the delete key. Our connections or public relationships open up the ability to edit our personal lives with just the click of a button. That's right folks you read it here in black and white.
With the introduction of social media sites like Facebook and Twitter we can simply hit a key and delete people from our lives. Click and poof away goes the friend who disagreed with your opinion. Click there goes your connection to a work colleague. How dare they tease you publicly about the quality of your potluck offering after all. Click there goes your latest love interest. You get the picture. Click, click, click.

And that my friends brings us full circle, the question is to delete or not to delete? Once you use the delete key to vanquish a person you may not get a do over to restore the relationship. With great power comes great responsibility or some such philosophical pondering. My humble and unsolicited opinion is to think carefully before you use your all powerful delete key.

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